Friday, January 25, 2013

The Future of this Blog

A discussion about where this site has come from and where it might go.


As you can all tell, I've been away for a bit. Actually, that's not entirely true, I just haven't been updating. I've been stopping by once a day or so to check in on things, but I haven't had anything to post or say.

It's not that I've been too busy, I've had the time to cap and just haven't. But I have been thinking about a lot during this absence, which is why I'm making this post.

I started making caps for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, was I wanted to see more caps that appealed to me, and the only way to ensure that happened was to make my own. Second, I wanted to see if anyone else thought my writing was any good, as I really hadn't shared anything with people who weren't already my friends and therefore obligated to lie to me about how great my stories were. And finally, I wanted to do something that gave back to the internet in some way. I'd been a lurker for a long time, not just in terms of tg captions, but in terms of consuming any content that people made and shared for free online, and I wanted to be one of those people who was making content to be enjoyed by others.

But lately I've been forced to answer the question, what else motivates me? In some way or another I've hit all three of my original goals. I've made almost 300 captions now, over 100 of which would fit the type I was looking for when I got into tg material; the fact that people still want to read my work after 2 and a half years in the community shows that my writing must be doing something right; and I became a content producer, at least to the point where I feel okay about how much material I've put out into the world.

So what's left?

For a lot of tg writers and cappers, their work is a way to explore their own fantasies. But as tg is not an integral part of who I am, and is more of a fetish for me, running on fantasy alone isn't enough. I've already written pretty much every tg fantasy I've ever had, and the idea of telling the same story over and over again in different ways just doesn't seem appealing.

In looking back at the pieces I've enjoyed writing the most, I noticed that I'm drawn to the ones that focus more on the mental aspect of a transformation, and less on the erotica. And that really sucks. Because I know those aren't my more popular caps, and one of the driving forces in creating this blog was to create content that people wanted to see. And for a long time that worked. I was able to operate under the belief that "If I like this, other people will too." But now I fear I'm looking for too much in an area that will always be primarily pornography. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it serves an important role and fills a need, I'm just not sure if my needs still fit into it as well. I don't want this site to turn into me only posting self-indulgent pieces that fit what I'm looking for, but not what any of the rest of you have come to expect from my work.

I still want to cap. I want to write stories that people enjoy, that they want to read. I can't tell you how much it sucks to not be able to do that right now. In fact, I sat down here tonight with the full intention of creating a new cap. Instead you got a whiny, babbling, rant. Talk about a crappy consolation prize.

I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of my capping career, but I think I might need to step away for a bit and reevaluate what I want out of this blog. Who knows, I might find the answer later tonight and be back tomorrow, ready to create new material; or it might be a little while before you see anything new out of me. Personally, I really hope it's the first one. But in the meantime, you stay classy, Internet.

Rauk

30 comments:

  1. Youve done amazing work and I always love stopping by to view any updates you make. To have you step away would be sad but the work youve put in has been amazing. I hope to see more out of you.

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    1. Thanks, hopefully you will be seeing more out of me in the future, although updates might get even more infrequent.

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  2. Well, I can honestly affirm that I know where you are coming from.

    I also got into capping because I wanted more of the type of captions that I liked, which I felt were under-represented... I also wanted to "give something back", after lurking/leeching for many years... And I just wanted to know that there actually more people out there, like me, who didn't need to see the transform-ee sucking a huge cock to feel like a "girl".

    It's a constant struggle, and I myself have taken several hiatus/sabbaticals... The bottom line is, there are PLENTY of people who like to focus on aspect of female to male transformation OTHER than just read about pornographic sex.

    Porn and sex will always be a major driving force in TG captions, but it's NOT the only one. There is plenty of room for the psychological, the humorous and the sentimental as well.

    I don't love every single caption that you make, Rauk... Some are just a tad too cerebral for my tastes... But I do and have liked many of them. I apologize that I haven't commented MORE, to let you know that.

    It does seem that we are on alternating cycles quite a bit.... I'm producing a lot when you're largely on "break", and vice versa.

    I, for one, hope you can find your way to make more captions... There's a perception, and a stigma, that TG captions are ALL about the sex... I don't think this is true, and I will continue in my fashion to try and prove this stereotype wrong :)

    /hugs

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    1. It does seem like we tend to have alternating breaks. But hopefully I'll be back for a bit. I'm not sure where my caps are going to go in the future, and I doubt that I'll ever get rid of the pornographic aspect of my work all together, but I have a feeling my newer content will focus more on other aspects of the transformation process.

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  3. I sympathise, sometimes when I cap I really enjoy it. Mostly fantasy, magic and Sci-Fi, the results tended to be very over-endowed.

    But other times, it just feels like I'm repeating myself, and stuck for ideas. It can be frustrating to want to contribute caps.

    For me it was better to go away and not force the caps. Just taking a rest allows you to charge your batteries and come back refreshed.

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    1. That's what I ended up doing. I think I'm just going to have to take more breaks from now on to ensure I don't burn out completely.

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  4. I think that your issues are very common to erotica creation in general. As storytellers, we all want to focus on the conflict, and in this genre, the conflict is, more often than not, a mental one. Trying to confine that within a single caption can be...difficult at best and impossible at worst.

    For me, the answer to that problem is kind of simple: make longer stories (in the form of multiple frames). The downside is that those take a while to create.

    I've also found that committing to one caption (or caption story) a day (even it's just a really simple one) kind of keeps me honest. When I'm feeling especially creative, it gives me a bank of captions for the week to come. When I'm not feeling creative, it sort of forces me to jump start the flow. As I started doing captions as a writing exercise, that's kind of important.

    And finally, I find quite a lot of joy in the entire creation of the caption - from writing, to photo modification, to adjusting the lighting, and the framing. It's all fun for me. Sure, some of it can get a little tedious at times, but I love the pride I feel when it all comes together.


    Still, your mileage may vary. I just felt inclined to share my thoughts on your particular problem.

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    1. Thanks for the input. I used to do a caption a day, and while that was really helpful when I was starting out, I found that keeping that pace up tends to lead to me repeating myself a lot.

      I wish I had the time to work on some longer pieces, but I usually write my captions all in one sitting, which does tend to limit how long the cap can be. I've tried in the past to stretch a caption over several days of work, but I haven't been too happy with the results.

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    2. I think it's admirable that you went to such lengths to hone your writing skill. But I honestly believe that your writing is as sharp as ever. Continuing in that way, at this point, is just working to work.

      I don't believe that you need to hone your skills any longer. I think we can all appreciate and love your writing, even when it isn't presented as often.

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  5. Rauk,

    I can't say that I came into capping for the same reasons you did, although some of it is similar. I didn't mind the content so much as I minded the design. There were plenty of caps that I enjoyed... they were just mostly locked into simple designs. I never expected to move past that more 'porn' style.

    But as time went on, I started to enjoy making the more emotional and mental caps. The pure mindless porn caps have become less and less satisfying. I think over time a lot of cap artists go through a similar change. Not everyone, to be sure, but a lot of them. I think we also all go through a similar realization that 'our' fantasies may have an audience, but not a huge one. I know that the caps that I'm particularly proud of don't get the lion's share of my page views.

    I think the choice before you is simple. Difficult... but still simple. You can follow your heart and make caps that are 'self-indulgent pieces that fit what [you're] looking for', or continue to try and make caps that please the bigger audience. It just depends on what you want. Do you want a large but diffuse audience that enjoy your caps for their titillating nature? Or do you want a smaller but far more loyal audience that not only love your caps, but love you as well. Do you want people that think "I like them TG caps... 'specially the ones by that one guy... Rook? Roke? Rauk? Oh lookee... there's another one by someone else!" or do you want people that think "I love Rauk's captions and can't wait until he makes another one!"?

    I'm firmly in that second group. I thoroughly enjoy your writing and your style. I'd read caps from you that involve NO TG elements. I'm a fan of the genre in general, but I'm a fan of yours in particular. I believe that if you follow your heart and make caps that YOU enjoy... that YOU want to make... that you'll find a stronger and overall more loyal fan base.

    I think you should work hard to please yourself first, and your audience second. If you do that, you'll always have an audience. I'll of course respect any choice you make, but I'll also admit my own greed... I want to see your caps! I want to follow the journey you're on and learn from your example.

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    1. Thank you for the kind words and support. You're right of course, but it's just so tempting to chase bigger and bigger numbers. At the end of the day though, I think I've accepted that if I want to keep doing this in the long run, I've got to focus more on the kinds of captions I truly enjoy making, otherwise capping will just become another thing on the ever growing list of chores I have to get done.

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    2. It IS tempting. I'll freely admit that when I get a lot of page views for a cap, I squee in delight. When I see my monthly page views going up instead of down it makes me happy. But that joy is short lived. i simply can't create enough caps like that to keep the silent majority happy.

      I can say that while I focus on making caps that I enjoy, I do occasionally get the urge to just jump in the mud and root around making a dirty squrimy 'of no moral value' cap.

      The result? I get to bump up my page views, give something back to those who are only looking for that kind of cap, squee with delight, and then merrily continue on making caps I enjoy. I can't continue to make ONLY those style of caps, but when I walked away from them it became a nice vacation home to return to.

      No one wants to do chores. And specifically we don't want YOU to do chores. Do what you love and you may find that occasionaly making a cap like that WON'T be a chore!

      Good luck!

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  6. I already am full aware that you know this, but you have to do what makes you happy. Sometimes art or creation needs a little break. You need to step back and reevaluate everything. Although you will be missed, being one of my favorite artists on the web. I also understand what you are saying. And I know you said you still want to continue capping in the future. But if you never cap again, thank you for the wonderful work you have created and know that you will be missed.


    a big fan, Katie Mills

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    1. Thank you. I think I'll be around for at least a little while longer, although breaks will probably be happening more often.

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  7. I really hope you don't leave. You are by and far the best tg capper on the web.

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    1. Thank you. It's always great to hear people appreciate my work.

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  8. ..mmmmm like you have done for me in the past you have made me look into myself and ask the same question . why ? why do we cap? and why tg ? As a female i fell inlove with your dark sense of humor in your works. for me it was never about the pictur content but the seduction if it got racy then so be it .

    When i read your caps and others it inspires me to contribute my ideas. for all your pasr ,present and future works i truly thank you ...........luvs Meg

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    1. Well I'm certainly glad to have been an inspiration for some of your caps. I really need to comment on your blog more in the future as you've made some really great pieces. I'll try to work on that now that I'm back for a bit.

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  9. Rauk, I’ve been a long time lurker. In fact, I think this is the first comment that I have publicly posted anywhere. I’ve been following what you do since I first saw your work on the original tf-media. You’re one of my favorite cap writers. What attracts me to your work ARE the mental or sometimes emotional components of your stories. The point I am trying to make is this: do what you enjoy and what interests you and don’t worry about what your audience is looking for. Sometimes your work will align with what your audience wants to see, sometimes it won’t. As you evolve as a writer your audience will evolve with you. The worst thing would be for you to try to write for what you think people want but lose interest and burn out.

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    1. Thank you. I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only one who enjoys my more mental pieces. I don't think I'll be able to abandon my old style completely, but you're right in that I need to focus more on the kind of captions that I truly enjoy writing.

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  10. I would assume that people come HERE because they don't want just "a caption" but a "caption from Rauk" regardless of what is in it.

    Its simple really.

    Do what you love, and love what you do.

    If the "want to" and the "need to" is still there, then create .. for yourself, for others, for whomever. Just do it on your own terms.

    Do what you love, and love what you do.

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    1. Thanks, Dee. I think a big problem I had was constantly competing with myself for bigger and bigger hits, and somewhere along the way I lost my passion for what I was writing. I'll try to correct that from here on out.

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  11. I agree with pretty much everything said here... I suppose it all depends on if you want to continue or not (all good things must come to an end eventually)
    just know that you are the best and would be missed

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    1. Thanks. I think I'll stick around for at least a little while longer. I have almost hit 300 captions after all.

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  12. Well, Rauk, first thing for me to say is; Thank you for the help, guidance, inspiration and encouragement in getting out of the 'lurk-box' and into being an active captioneer!

    We all go through moments of muted muses, or times of introspection and wondering what direction. Putting what we have into what we do until we feel a bit put-out. When what to say, or who to do, or which to show become more an impediment than a flow. Seasons change and cycles repeat, but never just the same. Something more remains in store, and hence the burning flame. What light we shine, for however much time, if extinguished, would be a shame.

    Sorry, didn't really plan that, it just fell out of whatever brains remain to me.

    Gotta do what we gotta do! ...as if that's any kind of profound observation.

    Just be true to being you, babe! What more can any ask of another, or even one of oneself?!

    Peace,Love&Kisses... really!
    Elle

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    1. It was my pleasure. Sorry I haven't commented on your work in a while, I'll try to work on that now taht I'm back.

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  13. Rauk22, maybe it's time to stop running on fantasy. Go out there and get some cock.

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  14. I initially came here for the pornography. It is still my primary interest in the TG captioning blogosphere.

    I have come to like your writing and your attitude. I can promise that a new artistic direction focused on the mental aspects of transformation will certainly not dissuade me from reading and enjoying your work. Sure your more porny captions may always be my favorite, but you have earned my respect and I will follow where your muse leads.

    Then again one reader's opinion like mine doesn't really mater. Change in the way that makes you happy with your work. Don't compete with your earlier work. Collect a smaller more refined audience that likes what you like.

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