A discussion about where this site has come from and where it might go.
As you can all tell, I've been away for a bit. Actually, that's not entirely true, I just haven't been updating. I've been stopping by once a day or so to check in on things, but I haven't had anything to post or say.
It's not that I've been too busy, I've had the time to cap and just haven't. But I have been thinking about a lot during this absence, which is why I'm making this post.
I started making caps for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, was I wanted to see more caps that appealed to me, and the only way to ensure that happened was to make my own. Second, I wanted to see if anyone else thought my writing was any good, as I really hadn't shared anything with people who weren't already my friends and therefore obligated to lie to me about how great my stories were. And finally, I wanted to do something that gave back to the internet in some way. I'd been a lurker for a long time, not just in terms of tg captions, but in terms of consuming any content that people made and shared for free online, and I wanted to be one of those people who was making content to be enjoyed by others.
But lately I've been forced to answer the question, what else motivates me? In some way or another I've hit all three of my original goals. I've made almost 300 captions now, over 100 of which would fit the type I was looking for when I got into tg material; the fact that people still want to read my work after 2 and a half years in the community shows that my writing must be doing something right; and I became a content producer, at least to the point where I feel okay about how much material I've put out into the world.
So what's left?
For a lot of tg writers and cappers, their work is a way to explore their own fantasies. But as tg is not an integral part of who I am, and is more of a fetish for me, running on fantasy alone isn't enough. I've already written pretty much every tg fantasy I've ever had, and the idea of telling the same story over and over again in different ways just doesn't seem appealing.
In looking back at the pieces I've enjoyed writing the most, I noticed that I'm drawn to the ones that focus more on the mental aspect of a transformation, and less on the erotica. And that really sucks. Because I know those aren't my more popular caps, and one of the driving forces in creating this blog was to create content that people wanted to see. And for a long time that worked. I was able to operate under the belief that "If I like this, other people will too." But now I fear I'm looking for too much in an area that will always be primarily pornography. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it serves an important role and fills a need, I'm just not sure if my needs still fit into it as well. I don't want this site to turn into me only posting self-indulgent pieces that fit what I'm looking for, but not what any of the rest of you have come to expect from my work.
I still want to cap. I want to write stories that people enjoy, that they want to read. I can't tell you how much it sucks to not be able to do that right now. In fact, I sat down here tonight with the full intention of creating a new cap. Instead you got a whiny, babbling, rant. Talk about a crappy consolation prize.
I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of my capping career, but I think I might need to step away for a bit and reevaluate what I want out of this blog. Who knows, I might find the answer later tonight and be back tomorrow, ready to create new material; or it might be a little while before you see anything new out of me. Personally, I really hope it's the first one. But in the meantime, you stay classy, Internet.